WALK THE TALK

This is the season when Graduations are being celebrated all over our nation and speeches delivered at each event.  To my disappointment I was not asked to speak at a Graduation.  However, if I would have received an invitation to speak at such an occasion I would make sure my remarks would be short because the students would be looking at their phones texting one another rather than listening to me.

   Let us fantasize for a moment, and hear some of the words of wisdom I would have shared with the Graduates.

   Today’s world has truly changed in the way we prioritize our needs and our concerns. The role of moral character seems to be minimized, wherein the attributes such as empathy, courage, fortitude, honesty, loyalty, are very often strange to so many.

   I read recently; “Unlike a drop of water which loses its identity when it joins the ocean, man does not and must not lose his being in a society in which he lives. Man’s life is independent and he is born to make his own individual mark on this earth.”

   These are times when we are not only to be concerned about the development of society, but even more so for the development of self. We all need greater belief in ourselves and to have the faith in our abilities, no matter what age. Success demands acts of humbleness combined with a confidence in our G-D Given Powers. Today, our world needs much healing and restoration of human feelings, to improve the standard of living. 

   These are my thoughts at the moment, especially as it applies to the Parsha, we read this week wherein the opening words are, ‘אם בחוקותי תלכו, When Hashem asks man to walk in His statues and keep His commandments.” The word used is תלכו, walk.”

   Rashi comments on the word walk, “Walking in G-D’s law, means taking a journey-a journey of the mind and soul, but more so a journey from the routine, traveling away from the maddening society into a world of dedication and commitment that iniates an-act of walkingwith G-D.” 

   This idea is expressed in the Gemorah Sotah. “To change the world, to uplift the world to a higher plateau, we are to emulate G-D’s ways. 

As He clothes the naked so must we; 

As He visits the sick so must we; 

As He comforts the mourners so must we; 

As He studies the Torah with those in the Yeshiva Shel Maala, so must we 

involve ourselves in the study of Torah and become עמלים בתורה.”

   Furthermore, as Hashem draws His People near to Him, we must be open to accept others and show kindness to others regardless of how different they may be. This is to walk in G-D’s way, and modeling G-D’s behavior. 

  Walking suggests that we be proactive in our Judaic way of life and encourage others to lift themselves out of their passive and indifference behavior bringing about a greater identity as Jews. 

This is a time to engender change.  It is a time to grow and move forward in Yiddishkeit and to release ourselves from the spiritual stagnation that so many have fallen prey to.

 

THE ONLY TRUE HAPPINESS LIES IN KNOWING WHO WE ARE!

OUR IDENTITY IS OUR MOST VALUABLE POSSESION – LET US PROTECT IT AND BUILD UPON IT!

LIFE IS IN OUR HANDS

   As I was sitting at an Honor Society Awards Ceremony, I realized the feelings of anxiety that the children and parents experience as they anticipate the next step in the educational process.

   It is understandable that anticipation for any new endeavor may bring on feelings of anxiety and these new experiences can be stressful and emotional. 

   As a school psychologist, I often observe that children are expected to perform on a higher level and many are unprepared intellectually as well as emotionally and the pressure to succeed can be very stressful. Often we blame the parents and the teachers.  Though this may be true at times, I am more inclined to think of it as a societal issue.    In our society, we very often compare one child to another and this is totally unfair and uncalled for. When these issues come to the fore and are not addressed properly, there is the possibility that the family becomes fractured as they try to find solutions to these problems.

   With this mind, my interest turns to Pirkey Avot, which we study during the summer months.  I am referring, specifically, to the first Mishna, which states, “Raise up many disciples.” The question I pose, “How do we accomplish this seemingly simple but profound task?” Our aim in life with our children, who indeed are like our disciples, is to inspire them to reach their full measure of potential. “How, you may ask, how do we do this?”

   The answer suggested by the Mishna, is, “By acting as Rabban Yochanan Ben Zakkai did, when he praised his students by showing them their individual strengths. He guided them to see their specific talents.  Rabban Yochanan would search for their creative abilities, and used them for motivational purposes.”

   To achieve these goals for our children and even for ourselves we need to constantly us Lashon Tov. Good speech lifts people up, and encourages them to focus better, and through our praise they are sustained by their greater faith in themselves.

   Seeing the good in others and, indeed, telling them, as well, is a magnificent way of helping others and specifically our children in their personal growth. When we praise people we are praising Hashem of whom we are created in His Image.

   With patience and understanding, and with encouragement our children will understand that it Takes time to become anything worth becoming.

   How apropos is this thought, as we read the opening sentence of this week’s Parsha of Emor.  Our Torah directs the Kohanim ויאמר ה׳ אל משה אמר אל הכהנים בני אהרן ואמרת  "G-d said to Moshe, speak to the Kohanim and say to them"

   Rashi asks “Why was it necessary to use a double expression “Speak and Say?”  He answers, “Besides telling the Kohanim themselves to observe the following precepts, Moshe instructs the adults that they have an obligation to educate their children in Torah. How cogent is this message for our day and age – a time when our adults are to be encouraged to educate their children in our Halacha and Hashkafa. Our future are our children and grandchildren, we must not disappoint them.  

   As we are in the midst of counting Sefira, a time oriented experience, we will, hopefully, acquire the time, the skill, the wisdom, the patience and the ability to persist through all obstacles in life without giving way to despair and to view life in a healthy and positive way.

“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are”.

I don’t go by or change my attitude based on what people say. At the end of day, they, too, are judging me from their perspective. I would rather be myself and let people accept me for what and who I am than be somebody who I am not, just because I want people’s approval.

The greatest gifts we can give our children, are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence and then pray to Hashem that they all find their right Derech, and fulfill their Tafkid in life with Mazal and Bracha.

 

HALEVAI

To the world you may be just one person but to one person you may be the world.

 

   As the news was filtering into our homes of the massive rocket shelling that was taking  place in Southern Israel we turned to our Father in Heaven beseeching Him once again to protect our brothers and sisters in our Holy Land. 

  The world seems to be closing in on our glorious and holy state. As Jews, we are sorrowful that there are many  who are making us feel alien and many are acting with ominous feelings against us.  Jewish history today appears to be in turmoil almost on the verge of being apocalyptic.  One, only has to listen to the news, read a newspaper and you get the feeling very quickly of recurrent hatred for the Jew in our society.  However, in spite of these ill feelings I still maintain an optimistic feeling for being a Jew in these difficult times.  There is sense of great meaning impregnating the life of our modern day Jew. Hashem has great plans for us and will continue to motivate us to pursue the goals of being a ממלכת כוהנים וגוי קדוש. 

   One only has to open his spiritual eyes to see that last week we bemoaned the rockets and the harm that took place, and  to move quickly to celebrate  יום העצמאות, only a few days later. The message is clear. We are to recognize the miracle of the existence of עם ישראל, and more so the miracles of all miracles, to celebrate ישוב ארץ ישראל, returning to our Promised Land.

  My question always is, “Do we take this reality for granted or do we finally conclude that this is the אתחלתא דגאולה, and often that which is cherished is not easily gotten?” 

  I am searching for a word to express my conflicting feelings and the word that jumps out to me is, התגברנו על הכל, we overcame all our enemies and we will do so now as well. 

   Remember, זכור, we crawled out from the burning crematoriums of Europe - we won all our wars - with a little bit of nothing we built an empire and we will never be threatened by the beasts of evil in Gaza, or from any other country. 

   With the help of Hashem, we will continue to celebrate יום העצמאות, vocalizing our credo for all to hear   “התגברנו על הכל “, we shall always overcome our enemies, for we are protected by our  נצח ישראל, and by our gallant and courageous men and women in our Jewish Armed Forces.  

   This idea is strengthened by the  Chasam Sofer on the opening words of this week’s Sedrah of Kedoshim. The Torah states;

    קדושים תהיו, Be Holy, and he reflects on the fact that this was instructed to be read at הקהל, a time when all people were gathered together  The idea is simple - to achieve the ultimate Holiness of the Jewish People, we need to have Hakhel, when all Jews act as one. Even though diversity may be present, all Jews feel as one entity. We are to recognize that we are like one body and whenever a Jew is in pain we all feel the pain and yes, we all feel the joy when every Jew celebrates. 

   These are times for a fulfillment of Hakhel, when all Jews begin to realize that we need to unify and in doing so we will achieve our Yeshuah, and our true Geulah Shlemah.

Happy Birthday Israel, Long Shall You Live.

Our greatest victory is yet to be achieved 

the victory of Unity.

 

    Let me conclude by reflecting upon a song that has truly attracted my attention. The song is called Halevai. 

 

Halevai - If Only.

Halevai, if only we won’t suffer and each man will love his brother.   

 Halevai, if only we will renew our days as in ancient times.

Halevai, if only we will never abandon the path of Hope.

Halevai, if only nation will no longer lift sword against nation.

Permit me to use my literary license, of adding words to this song; 

Halevai, if only we will be blessed with peace, and all Jews will be one, living in brotherhood under the Fatherhood of G-D.

 

      

 Reply  Reply All  Forward

LET US GO FORWARD

   As I reflect upon our society today, I realize more and more that we are to be reminded, constantly, of the need to achieve a definitive perspective to our lives. It is, then that I begin, to realize that life is a mixture for all of us. We are reminded of life’s struggles, hardships, problems and defeats and at the same time we begin to reflect on our blessings, of our accomplishments, our beautiful moments and often our great triumphs. There are times that we move from our lows to our highs.  To maintain our equilibrium it is best that we focus more on our blessings and when doing so we will be able to better ourselves and those around us. 

   We all experienced these feelings during our Seder. When we began to tell the story by restating how our ancestors lived in squalor conditions in Egypt, living lives of subjugation, denying their human rights, and then “Wonder of Miracles” Hashem, in His infinite way, delivered us out of Egypt and we were on our way to the Promised Land.

   Who can deny the pain and anguish we felt at the news that a synagogue in San Diego was terrorized and harm befell our fellow Jews. We offered our prayers of thanksgiving that the fatalities were considerably limited. However, the terror did not stop there, as we read of a most despicable cartoon containing anti- Semitic images that reminded us, once again, of the 1930s. Worse, it took more than a day before the N.Y. Times offered a ‘Pareve Apology.’ Such Nazi like propaganda has us all frightened and one wonders, “Where are we headed in this great country of democracy.”

   Such a mixture of emotions is not strange for the Jews.  We have lived with pain and anguish BUT at the same time we have lived with joy and jubilation.  Life has always been and will continue to be one of hope and optimism for us and for all humanity. These are times when we feel the potential for holiness which results in recognizing our continuous blessings. We beseech the Almighty to eradicate the evil that exists in our world and to remove the anti - Semitic feeling that permeates our society today.

   I refuse to look upon the anguish that life deals us.  I prefer to reiterate our obligation to respond appropriately to our good fortune. The Rav reiterated, “The bestowal of good is always to be viewed as a conditional gift- a gift that must be returned , these gifts of life are temporary gifts. When G-D endows man with the blessings of life, the recipient must learn how to use these precious gifts, how to transform them into fruitful creative forces, how to share his or her joy and prominence with the people around and how to take the Chesed that flows toward them from its infinite, G-Dly source and use it to perform deeds of loving kindness for others.”

   These troubling thoughts bring to mind an interesting insight brought forth from this week’s Sedrah, Acharey, by the Sfas Emes, on the Pasuk, אני ה׳ אלוקיכם. With these words he explains, “The purpose of the Mitzvot is precisely to give us an opportunity to accept Hashem, as our Ruler. With our performance in Mitzvot, we are, in essence, placing a crown on the head of G-D.” He goes on to explain, “What did Nadav and Avihu do wrong? They went off the track, because they did something that Hashem had not commanded.” In other words, their misbehavior lay in their performing a religious act that was not an expression of their subordination to Hashem.

   The lesson to me is clear, “Life as a Jew is not an easy one vis-a-vis the worlds hatred and dislike of the Jew and more so the hatred and dislike of the State of Israel. But not only in spite, but becausethis hatred exists, we need to reinforce and become stronger in our alliance with each other and especially in our dedication and commitment to Torah and the State of Israel. The world may think that with their vindictiveness we will grow weaker, but the truth is it makes us stronger.” As the Sfas Emes explained, “Our continued performance of Mitzvot, are our means to develop and maintain our relationship with G-D.”

As our Torah states; ושמרתם את חוקתי ואת משפטי אשר יעשה אתם האדם וחי בהם,” You shall observe My decrees and My laws, which man shall carry out and by which he shall live”. The Sfas Emes, understands the phrase, וחי בהם, to mean, “He shall give life”, rather than “He shall live”. There is a phenomenal lesson in this new understanding, for now the sentence is telling us that by intensifying ourperformance of Mitzvot we give Chiyus , We Give Life. We give more meaning to Judaism and bring more Joy endowing us with a greater sense for our existence, ultimately bringing Blessing to us and to the entire world.

 

Our perspective on life at this crucial time for the Jewish people can be summed up with the following words which will bring us great hope and optimism “Let us go forward.”  As Mimi once said to me “Let us hold on to the wonderful memories and let us look forward to spring -let us look forward to the flowers in bloom – let us look forward to the trees with the beautiful leaves – let us look forward to a world of glory, blessing and let us look forward to the time when

עושה שלום במרומיו הוא יעשה שלום עלינו ועל כל ישראל

-- 

 

 

 

OUR COMPLETE REDEMPTION

 The most magnificent and beautiful experience of Pesach, for me, is to sit at our Seder Tablewith our family, with our children and grandchildren, as we read and study the Hagadah and sing the songs, using the same tunes, like our parents and grandparents did years ago. At that moment, as teary eyed as I get, I realize what this Yom Tov is really all about- it is the valued time when all generations are united into one - when the past is fused gloriously with the present but more so realizing that our Mesorah is not a relic of the past but, is in reality, the powerhouse and the energizer of the present. I am in touch with my parents as I cover my Matzohs with their covers and hold the Bechers in my hand and feel their spiritual energizing power going through my very being and try to convey that feeling to our children and to our grandchildren. At that moment beaming with pride at our family at our side, something which I will never take for granted, I realize that before me sit young people who live in two worlds without compromising their dedication and commitment to Yiddishkeit  toTorah and to our Inspirational Mesorah.

   I shared with them one of my favorite stories about the Blushiver Rebbe.  The Rebbe was incarcerated in a concentration camp and a young man became attached to him in a very warm way. One night they were dragged out of their bunks, emaciated as they were, cold and frightened, and were brought to a trench and were instructed to jump over the ditch.  If they could not succeed they would die in the pit. The young man standing next to the Rebbe, said, “I can’t make it.  Please let me die in peace.” The Rebbe said, “We need to try.” After a minute or two they both landed on the other side of the pit, successfully. The young man asked the aged Rebbe, “How he did you do it?” The Rebbe answered, “I held on to the coattails of my father and my grandfather and they pulled me to safety.” The Rebbe, then, asked the young man, “How did you make it?”  The young man answered, “I held onto your coattails.”

   This is what Pesach and Yiddishkeit are all about.  It is holding onto the coattails of our past generations who help us, always, to weather the storms of life and savor the precious moments that we experience and to bring our Seder of Life full circle while basking in the sunshine of humanity and a Torah way of Life.

   As the participants at the Seder delivered their Divrey Hagadah, a most important message was shared; This night is all about G-D, Who Was, Who Is and Who Will Always, Be Our Deliverer, Our Goel, and on this night we are to reiterate this point, לא על ידי מלאך ולא על ידי שרף ולא על ידי שליח אלא הקדוש ברוך הוא בכבודו ובעצמו. It is, for this reason that even thoughMoshe played an important role in the redemption process, this night does not belong to him.  It is, as the Rav suggests, “A night, of great romance between the Almighty and the Jewish People. It is a night when we sing with pride and joy. אני לדודי ודודי לי, I am my beloved and my beloved is mine.”

   The most cogent part of our relationship with Hashem is best expressed with the words of the Rav.

   The Rav reiterated, “One of the names that the Torah uses for G-D, is Shaddai. It is the name of G-D that is written on the parchment of a Mezuzah. Hashem also identifies himself with this name when he speaks to Moshe. What is the meaning of this name of G-D?”

   Rabbi Soloveitchik cites the Midrash which teaches, “ Hashem in the act of creation issues the following order to the world. Dai, enough! In the word Shaddai, Dai is the root of G-D’s name. In the act of creation, G-D, so to speak limits His creation.” The Rav goes on to explain, “That Hashem is saying, in essence, “In my act of creation, I have not completed things fully”.

   At the conclusion of the first week of creation, on Friday afternoon, as Shabbat was entering at sunset, the world was left unfinished. This was done intentionally. This unfinished part of creation is left for man to complete. Man becomes a Partner in Creation.

   The Rav explained,  “The imperative that G-D issued to Avraham in the following way. “I am the Lord, Shaddai, walk before me and be whole wholehearted”. This statement is to be translated, not to be wholehearted, rather “To make Whole”. In other words, G-D charged Avraham with the mission of perfecting and fixing the world.

  This is truly a most enlightening idea that seems to come to the fore on this special night of ליל שמורים, a night when we experience G-D’s infinite protection. It is the eternal mission of the Jewish People. The message and the mission are clear - we are entrusted by Hashem to bring about the Tikkun Olam, To Fix and to Heal a Fractured World.

   There is no greater need, at this time, to join with Hashem to make this a better world.  There is no better way than to start by making man a better person, with greater feelings towards his fellowman, and to return to the beginning of the Seder and to reiterate and to feel those magnificent words of כל דכפין וכל דצריך, words that project acts of kindness, of understanding, of empathy, of a life lived by Chesed and concern for others.

   With these ideas in mind we will be able to, once again, lift our cup of wine and recite that glorious Bracha as we did at the Seder, כן הי אלוקינו יגיענו למועדים ולרגלים אחרים הבאים לקראתנו לשלום שמחים בבנין עירך וששים בעבודתך, ונודה לך שיר חדש על גאולתנו ועל פדות נפשנו. ברוך אתה הי גאל ישראל. 

   These lessons of Pesach need to become our mantra for the future survival of עםישראל, ארץ ישראל and for the survival of Humanity. 

This, I believe, was the greater purpose of our Redemption from Egypt and will be our guarantee for our future and Complete Redemption, which will give us the Zechut to see the ביאת גואל צדק בימנו  

A SEDER FOR GENERATIONS

אז מען וויסט פון וואנען מען קומט, וויסט מען צו וואנען מאר דארף גיין.

If one knows from whence he comes, he will know his life’s destination.

    

   This short but emphatic statement aptly and profoundly describes, in a most meaningful way, the essence of this glorious Yom Tov of Pesach.  As the Hagadah states,” חייב אדם לראות את עצמו כאילו הוא יצא ממצרים, We are to appear as if we ourselves left Egypt. It’s not enough to retell the story of the Exodusfrom Egypt, it is important to actually reenact that great historical moment, in a very personal way.  When doing so, we become more empathetic with our feelings and the needs of others and our indifference to the plight of others will dissipate and the rally call for help will be responded to in a very positive way.

   In a similar light, these are times that we must equally tune in to the needs of the plight of Jewry, especially to the rampant feeling of Anti Semitism and anti Israel bias being spread though out our country. 

   It at this time of the year that I recall the words of the Hagadah, והיא שעמדהלאבותינו ולנו,  “In every generation they rise up against us”. 

  Things have not changed much from biblical times, and we begin to realize that there are people in every generation that wishe to destroy the Jewish People. 

   The Rav reflecting on this statement in the Hagadah, “Often there is a tendency to see events described in the Hagadah as remote and distant from our current lives. It is then that we read the והיא שעמדה, that drives home the relevance of the Pesach story for all of us today.” 

   It is at this point of the Seder that we move from the historical events to a better understanding of the dangers that we face as a Nation today and we lift our cup of wine. Why this act at this moment?

   The answer suggests that a cup of wine is symbolic of Jewish destiny and eternity. We call this Netzach Yisrael, as indicated in the verse from Psalms, “The cup of salvation I shall raise and call on the Almighty’s name”. 

   At the Seder we speak of the relevance of the events in our history and the cycle of danger and redemption that is so characteristic of Jewish History. The enduring existence of the Jewish People against overwhelming odds is testimony to the fact “redemption from Egypt” also, takes place in the present and not only in the distant past. It is fitting that before we begin reciting and commenting on the Passover story, we introduce this section by stating our intent to translate the past into the present and identify memory with reality. 

    As we focus on this part of the Hagadah, let us focus, even more, on another part of the Seder when we recite לפיכך אנחנו חיבים להודות להלל לשבח לפאר לרומם להדר לברך ולקלס למי שעשה לאבותינו ולנו את כל הניסים האלה. ונאמר לפניו שירה חדשה                                        .....  

  We move from the blight of history to the glory of the saving power of modern day history when G-D, who miraculously brought us to this day.  We remain confident that He will always be present to bring about a glorious future for עםישראל and ארץ ישראל. 

   With this idea in mind we progress to the end of the Seder and conclude with Nirtzah that means acceptable and pleasing. We are asking Hashem that our recitation of the Hagadah and performance of the Seder rituals be acceptable and pleasing to G-D. As we conclude the Seder and sing לשנה הבא בירושלים , our souls are stirred with a feeling of longing for ציון, and our hopeful vision of celebrating the Yom Tov of Pesach, in all its splendor once again in our Holy City of ירושלים, with the rebuilding of our  Bes Hamikdash. 

    We conclude our Seder with joy and jubilation, with the final magnificent words of the song אדיר הוא, as our inspiration for our future. 

        קדוש הוא רחום הוא שקי הוא תקיף הוא  יבנה ביתו בקרוב

                 

                                 

   

MODEL SEDER

As we prepare for the Yom Tov of Pesachmany of us experience a great sense of anxiety.  This is a Yom Tov that makes great demands upon us. Who can deny that the changes over our entire household - the shopping and the cleaning and the cooking take a great toll on our lives?

    I was giving a class on Pesach preparations and a young lady asked, “Do you really think that this anxiety is what Judaism wants for us?” My immediate answer was, “No, we are bringing this anxiety on ourselves.” I reminded the class of a very important idea; “We need to focus on the outcome. It serves no purpose to expend our energy about the things we haven’t done and the goals we haven’t achieved. Focus our thoughts on the outcomes we do want and watch them become our reality. Focus our attention on our intention.”

   This is the philosophy to live by, if we are to rise to the occasions presented to us in our daily lives. 

  What should we really focus on as we prepare for the Seder and celebrate the Yom Tov of our Geulah?

   For me, the paradigmatic Mitzvah of this glorious night is expressed in the Pasuk, והגדת לבנך ביום ההוא לאמר, suggesting that the most important directive of Judaism is to maintain our Mesorah by involving our children in the education process of Torah that will assure that our future will be continuous throughout future generations. This is the essence of the Seder and it is the reason that the entire Seder centers on our children which is indicated by our analyzing the ארבע בניםthe four different sons, teaching us that inJudaic education it is important חנוך נער על פי דרכו, every child is to be reckoned with according to his/her ability and welcomed into our Mesorah.

   The essence of והגדת לבנך  is to enable a child to develop in his/her own way and to utilize their energy and wherewithal to grow on their own, realizing the advantage for living a Torah oriented life. This realization comes with maturity and the adult population must act with our youth with patience and with love and with understanding. 

   Our greatest dilemma still remains.  We are concerned about so many of our youth who do not attend a Seder.  We must reach out to them so that they will accept our Seder of Life.  

   I have always found that the best educational method is to show our children the דרך האמת ודרך האמונה, by example which will inspire them and encourage them to live a Torah way of Life.

   We read in the Hagadah, צא ולמד, “Go out and learn,” that we are to” move out of ourselves. When doing so one can learn much better and teach others more successfully.

   Too often we are involved with the selfwhich can be a deterrent in our educational process. 

   The beauty of all this, is the extraordinary fact that we have different children sitting at the Seder table, with different ideas and different points of view. But the magnificence is that they all are sitting at the same table sharing the exact Mesorah that has come to us from time immemorial. This is our Blessing, and one that we should never take for granted.

This is what the Seder is all about. A table full of memories, reenacting history for all to learn and for all to be hopeful of the vibrant future that is in store for Judaism. It is a propitious time to come together, achieving the goal of family unity and bringing harmony to our families and to K’lal Yisrael. With these accomplishments and with those present at the Seder, we can act with confidence that when we open the door for Eliyahu, he will finally enter our home bringing about the גאולה שלמה.