MODEL SEDER

As we prepare for the Yom Tov of Pesachmany of us experience a great sense of anxiety.  This is a Yom Tov that makes great demands upon us. Who can deny that the changes over our entire household - the shopping and the cleaning and the cooking take a great toll on our lives?

    I was giving a class on Pesach preparations and a young lady asked, “Do you really think that this anxiety is what Judaism wants for us?” My immediate answer was, “No, we are bringing this anxiety on ourselves.” I reminded the class of a very important idea; “We need to focus on the outcome. It serves no purpose to expend our energy about the things we haven’t done and the goals we haven’t achieved. Focus our thoughts on the outcomes we do want and watch them become our reality. Focus our attention on our intention.”

   This is the philosophy to live by, if we are to rise to the occasions presented to us in our daily lives. 

  What should we really focus on as we prepare for the Seder and celebrate the Yom Tov of our Geulah?

   For me, the paradigmatic Mitzvah of this glorious night is expressed in the Pasuk, והגדת לבנך ביום ההוא לאמר, suggesting that the most important directive of Judaism is to maintain our Mesorah by involving our children in the education process of Torah that will assure that our future will be continuous throughout future generations. This is the essence of the Seder and it is the reason that the entire Seder centers on our children which is indicated by our analyzing the ארבע בניםthe four different sons, teaching us that inJudaic education it is important חנוך נער על פי דרכו, every child is to be reckoned with according to his/her ability and welcomed into our Mesorah.

   The essence of והגדת לבנך  is to enable a child to develop in his/her own way and to utilize their energy and wherewithal to grow on their own, realizing the advantage for living a Torah oriented life. This realization comes with maturity and the adult population must act with our youth with patience and with love and with understanding. 

   Our greatest dilemma still remains.  We are concerned about so many of our youth who do not attend a Seder.  We must reach out to them so that they will accept our Seder of Life.  

   I have always found that the best educational method is to show our children the דרך האמת ודרך האמונה, by example which will inspire them and encourage them to live a Torah way of Life.

   We read in the Hagadah, צא ולמד, “Go out and learn,” that we are to” move out of ourselves. When doing so one can learn much better and teach others more successfully.

   Too often we are involved with the selfwhich can be a deterrent in our educational process. 

   The beauty of all this, is the extraordinary fact that we have different children sitting at the Seder table, with different ideas and different points of view. But the magnificence is that they all are sitting at the same table sharing the exact Mesorah that has come to us from time immemorial. This is our Blessing, and one that we should never take for granted.

This is what the Seder is all about. A table full of memories, reenacting history for all to learn and for all to be hopeful of the vibrant future that is in store for Judaism. It is a propitious time to come together, achieving the goal of family unity and bringing harmony to our families and to K’lal Yisrael. With these accomplishments and with those present at the Seder, we can act with confidence that when we open the door for Eliyahu, he will finally enter our home bringing about the גאולה שלמה.