Wednesday, September 3, 2014

LOVERS AND FRIENDS

Permit me at this time to become more personal in my remarks as I prepare for the wedding of our beloved and charming granddaughter Deena to a wonderful young man with outstanding medot Lipa Liebhard.  
Our Torah reading this week, Parshas Ki Tetseh, encourages us to find a suitable mate and to get married as it is written כי יקח איש אשה.
Marriage was the blessing of G-D when he said to Adam, in the Garden of Eden,  לא טוב היות אדם לבדו, "It is not good for a person to be alone", and so Hashem created Eve to be Adam's Partner in life. Working, harmoniously together they achieved much more than they would individually.
Marriage is not two solo acts, but more so, it is a duet that operates with great love for one another. The beauty of marriage is the readiness on the part of husband and wife to help each other to achieve their hopes and dreams and together in life they become one with each other in a life of happiness and contentment.
It is true, marriages are made in heaven, but successful marriages are made on earth. 
The ultimate goal in marriage is to create a life wherein husband and wife rejoice together.
In order to build marital harmony, a couple must set aside and invest quality time  in their relationship.
The Torah encourages that time, which is one's most precious commodity, be reserved for their respective mates. Marriage encourages the fulfillment of becoming רעים אהובים, not only lovers but to create a strong and everlasting bond of friendship. Marital love requires time to ripen and to blossom and it often needs understanding and patience.
Only with time and effort does emotional and spiritual interdependence flourish in a blessed way.
Chazal were quick to point out that the Hebrew word for man and woman איש and אשה  have almost the identical letters except for the letters, י and ה, which are letters used for the name of G-D, suggesting that איש ואשה שכינה שרויה בינהם "When man and woman dwell in peace and harmony, Hashem dwells with them and bestows His Brachot upon them."
I sense more and more that our society needs more  שלום בית - more love and giving and forgiving,
merging two lives into one without submerging either's individuality or personality, but rather uniting all respective traits into one glorious unit.
To achieve a beautiful life, together, husband and wife need to orient themselves to unconditional love and commitment .
I read recently about a young husband dreaming of his future career,and turned to his wife and said,"My dear, I'm going to work hard so that someday we will be wealthy".
The wife quickly responded "We are wealthy, we have each other with great love and understanding. Someday, maybe we will have money and be rich".

My blessings of Mazal and Brachot go to our children, Miriam and Avraham and hope and pray that they will continue to have Nachas from the newly married couple and may Mazal and Brachot reign in our family for many years to come.


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