SELF AWARENESS

     “Sow a thought, says an old proverb, and reap an act.  Sow an act and reap a habit. Sow a habit and reap a character. Sow a character and reap a destiny.”

Our destiny depends upon the content and direction of our thinking and upon self examination and self knowledge. 

      Permit me to share a story with you about James Garfield, President of the United State.  Before Mr. Garfield became president he was the Dean at an Eastern College. A man brought his son, who had registered at the college, for an interview. He said to Mr. Garfield, “My son doesn't have the time to take all the required courses. He wants to finish college quickly.  Can you make the proper arrangements for him?”  “Oh yes,” said Mr. Garfield, “He can take a short course, but it all depends on what you want to make of him. When G-D wants to make an oak tree, He takes a hundred years, but He only takes two months to make a squash. Yes, it takes time and patience for an acorn to grow into an Oak and for a boy to develop into a young man.” 

     We need great patience and understanding to develop the ‘true self.’ The self needs to be nurtured and appreciated.

     Carl Rogers, one of the most important modern day psychologists, developed a "Non directive or client centered theory.”  These essential elements in his theory are the "Self concept". The idea is based upon how a person perceives himself   and how he perceives the world around him. A person is motivated into some type of action depending upon how he sees himself- what is his own self concept. 

      Thus the self will try, whatever way possible, to bring about actualization and growth of one’s self.  However, the direction taken will depend, largely, on how one perceives himself. If one has a distorted self image he will not react in a positive way to guarantee a glorious future. 

     It is with these thoughts in mind that we visit this week's Parsha, Sh’lach. Herein, we read of the incident of the Meraglim. 

    Moshe and עם ישראל, were prepared to enter the Promised Land when the people requested that a group of leaders be sent to spy out the land before they travel any further. 

    After these leaders returned with a negative and pessimistic report, they stated 

                                                                          ונהי בעינינו כחגבים וכן היינו בעיניהם  

"We were in our own sight as grasshoppers and so were we in their sight"

     It is truly devastating to perceive that others see us as insignificant, as mere grasshoppers.  But even more destructive is to have a poor image of ourselves and to see ourselves as lowly grasshoppers. 

      Think of this as a crucial aspect of our existence. It is bad enough to be seen by others as insignificant. However, to have a destructive view of ourselves, to have such a poor image of whom we are, and to see ourselves as mere grasshoppers, is a denial of faith in oneself and can lead to a total destruction of oneself. The sin of the Meraglim, was a sin of self-destruction, a sin of non self actualization. 

     We are to see the blessings and the opportunities that G-D has given to us rather than belittle ourselves and to continue to live our lives as Chagavim.

     What faces Modern Orthodox Jewry today is a need for an improvement of our self image, of a spiritual uplifting, that permits us to see ourselves not as Chagavim, but rather to emulate the words of גור אריה יהודה, to have a more positive self image, of a lion, that roars aloud in a glorious and positive way. 

 

EVERY MOMENT IN LIFE IS A NOTE IN THE DIVINE SYMPHONY OF THE PROJECTION OF SELF AWARENESS

            

                                          

LIGHT UP THE WAY

"The only purpose of the Mitzvot is to refine people".  (Midrash)

"The important thing is not how many separate Mitzvot we fulfill, but how and in what spirit we fulfill them".(Baal Shem Tov)

 

  It is related that the great Talmudist R' Pinchas Horowitz, author of the monumental commentary, Haflaah, heard of the Chassidic master, the Maggid of Mezeritch, and was curious to investigate Chassidus. After the visit, the Maggid suggested that he engage R'Zusia in a scholarly discussion. 

  R' Zusia kept his erudition a secret. No one ever saw him studying. Rather, he was sweeping the floor or tending to some of the needs of the Bes Medrash. When R'Pinchas approached him, R' Zusia said, "There must be some mistake. I am not a scholar and there is nothing you can discuss with me.”  At the insistence of R'Pinchas, R'Zusia said "I can tell you something I overheard the others say.”

    “I heard the students reading the Gemorah where R' Hunah says, תשעה וארון מצטרפין, "Nine men and the Aron Hakodesh can constitute a minyan".

R' Nachman challenges this, saying ארון גברא הוא,"Is the Ark a person that you can count for a Minyan?"

   What kind of a question is R' Huna asking?  Surely he knows that the Ark is not a person to be counted for a Minyan.  “Perhaps” asked R' Zusia, “You can explain that to me.”  

  R' Pinchas was taken aback. He had no answer to so obvious a question. 

   R' Zusia shrugged his shoulders and said, " Maybe the Gemorah meant it this way; R' Hunah was of the opinion that since the Aron was full of Torah, it could contribute to a minyan. R' Nachman's challenge was, "Granted the Aron is full of Torah, but a minyan requires the Human element.” 

    Life for Judaism is to be full of Torah, but we must never lose sight of the need to always be a Mensch and in doing so to reach out to our fellowman with love and understanding. 

   The opening words of this week's Parsha, Baha'Loscha, relates how Aharon is instructed to light the Menorah in the Mikdash, wherein it states בהעלותך את הנרות. Immediately we realize that even though the Hebrew word to light is להדליק, the Torah uses the unique word בהעלותך. “Why?” One may ask.

  I sense that the message that our Torah wants to impress upon us is that this lighting was not only referring to the physical Menorah, but more so to kindle, within us, the flame of religious zeal. When doing so, we are to realize the importance of the direction that this inner flame must take. Everything must be an act of עלה, of ascending, of acting always לשם שמים, for the sake of the true principles of Yahadut, of our religious advance Heaven ward. We must be inspired from above, and our guide is, always, to be Torah oriented. 

  In fact, Chazal say שצריך להדליק עד שתהא השלהבת עולה מאליה   the essence of this spiritual light is to nurture it in such a way that the flame, the enthusiasm of Judaism, will burn brightly by itself, and the glow will be so strong that it will continue on an everlasting path. For this to succeed only Aharon, could light the Menorah, for he represents אוהב שלום ורודף שלום. Aharon sought peace and pursued peace. 

  This is our mission in life. To be of the disciples of Aharon, and to ignite the lights of Torah, to ignite the lights of Menchlikeit, to ignite the lights of Shalom, between all Jews, for every Jew is our brother and sister.  

   The light of life is in our hands, and all we need to do is grab hold of it by embracing each other with the true  אהבת ישראל. 

 

                                              שבת שלום ומבורך

              http://rabbimehlmansthoughts.blogspot.com

SHEVOUS 2017

       As we prepare for the Yom Tov  of Shevous, permit me to share with you a most enlightening idea that was said by the Rav. It is a theme that it is so necessary in our day and age and should be shared with everyone especially on this Yom Tov commemorating the Revelation of G-D to Am Yisrael.

       The Rav, Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik זצ׳ל spoke of our past galuyot, exiles,

which the Jewish people endured in Egypt and Persia and how our people were subjugated by threatening tyrants whose nefarious plans would have spelled the end of Jewish history.

          It is only from the vantage point of historical distance, as we Jews study the past, may we arrive at some appreciation of the enduring influences which these two exiles experiences have had upon the Jewish personality.

          After much involved philosophical, theological and Halachic discussion, the Rav suggested that there are two basic ingredients to a Judaic way of life, to Torah; Faith and Morality.  The Decalogue the Ten Commandments were, as we know, inscribed upon two Tablets of the Law.  The first five Commandments deal with acts of faith which relate man to his Maker, while the latter five prohibit anti-social acts, between man and his fellow man.

          The Torah introduces the Decalogue with the verse:“And G-d spoke all these words saying",      Rashi notes that the verse would be entirely meaningful without the redundant word "all"  stating simply that “G-d spoke these worlds saying..." He therefore explains, “this teaches us that Hashem pronounced all these words in a single utterance, an impossibility for human beings.”

          What is the significance of G-d’s simultaneous utterance of the entire Decalogue?  It teaches us that all Ten Commandments constitute an indivisible organic unity.  We do not have ten commandments but one, with ten aspects.  The word “all” in this context does not mean “all of them,” which characterizes a numerical sum total of independent teachings, but rather a totality, an interdependent oneness of all its seeming parts.  Faith and morality are integrally one and inseparable.

          The Rav presented the following questions: Can a secular state nurture a moral society?  Can a culture which is indifferent to the transcendental imperative inspire ethical performance in private or public life?

          In past decades, secular humanists were certain that man could be induced and motivated to pursue ethical norms without the absolute imperative of the Divine.  Our thesis is that in the long run and for the masses of society, there can be no such thing.  Either man accepts the authority of G-d as the legislator of the moral norm, or he will eventually fail in all attempts to create a moral society, a relativistic man-made moral order will simply not endure. The inability of modern secularism to motivate ethical behavior in private or public life is evidence of this truth.

          The Verse: "When a person sins and commits a trespass against the Lord by dealing falsely with his neighbor", is homiletically interpreted by our sages as follows: He who commits a trespass against the Lord will eventually also deal falsely with his neighbor.  Morality without faith cannot sustain itself.

          An interesting Midrash supports this idea; Rabbi Reuven was asked by a philosopher of Tiberias: “Who is the most hateful, morally dangerous person in the world?” He replied, “He who denies his creator, because the denial of all norms follows if one rejects G-d.  No man violates a law unless he first repudiates the legislative authority of the law.”

          Rabbi Reuven felt that the non-believer constitutes a danger to the most fabric of society.  The philosopher was astonished by his answer because faith, after all, is the private affair of the individual and furthermore, are not many atheists teachers of morality?  The Rabbi insisted that eventually atheism leads to the demoralization of the individual and society.  Man can easily rationalize his crime, declare norms to be relative and proclaim himself the arbiter of right and wrong.  With most people, the baser part of their natures will tend to dominate.  Indeed, the moral bankruptcy of secularism is apparent to all students of our contemporary world.

          By declaring the indivisible unity of both tablets of the Decalogue, G-d declared that, without faith, morality cannot be sustained.

          It is equally true that there can be no faith, without loving kindness.  People who are ritualistically observant but ethically deficient destroy Judaism.  The self-righteousness and presumed piety are hypocritical.  Here too, G-d’s combined utterance, proclaim the indivisibility of the entire Decalogue.

          In the final analysis said the Rav, authentic Judaism will prevail over secularists and deviationists only if it results in the superior value system of ethical behavior. G-d may be worshiped only if we first make peace with our fellow man.  There can be no Judaism without morality.

          Chag Sameach

COMMENCEMENT

   I had the pleasure of attending the Yeshiva University graduation ceremony this week at Madison Square Garden.  My heart swelled with Nachas as our grandson, Yonatan Mehlman, was honored by being selected as the Valedictorian of Yeshiva University, class of 2017.   

   While I was listening to the different speakers, it was interesting to note that the word graduation was not used, but rather the word commencement, which I found to be most insightful. 

   For all the graduates, I sense, it is a commencement, as the word indicates.  It is truly a beginning and a start to greater achievements for future life endeavors. 

   I recall the words of Albert Einstein, "There are seven sins in the world: Wealth without work, Pleasure without conscience, Knowledge without character, Commerce without morality, Science without humanity, Worship without sacrifice and Politics without principle. I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will really be happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. We think too much. We feel too little. More than machines, we need humanity."

    Einstein said it brilliantly and was right on target in expressing the needs of our country in these tumultuous and uncertain times which we, unfortunately, live in. These are times that we must put our trust in the hands of our young men and women who have great vision for a brighter future, encapsulating a life filled with optimism and feelings for a more united humanity under the rubric of a 

G-Dly ordained society. 

   Our Torah oriented way of life stresses two very important themes that can, hopefully, ensure a more positive future for every new graduate - they are Emunah and Emet, Truth and Faith. Where Emunah signifies the eternal and Emet the ephemeral, there is a need to unite the divine with the humane, and often, to unite the ancient with the modern, bringing about a world of compassion, truth and authenticity. 

   The qualifying statement of the Torah, תמים תהיה אם הי אלוקיך,'You must be wholehearted with G-D', teaches us to live a life in which we bring together Truth and Faith.  They are united with a strong belief in man's potential to recognize that we are of the world of each other and possess the power to achieve greatness in a world of peace and renewal. 

  As we begin reading ספר במדבר, let us realize that the מדבר experience that Hashem insisted upon was  not that we were to remain in a מדבר of desolation, but rather to use that ominous experience to transform the Jewish People into an Am Kadosh. To achieve this goal Hashem expects us to exhibit a greater sense of brotherly love and compassion for one another. 

  This was evident as we stood at Har Sinai to receive the Torah:  ויחן שם ישראל נגד ההר, כאיש אחד בלב אחד. Gloriously, at that awesome moment in Jewish History, we were one in heart and one in action. How Messianic this would be if we could achieve this goal in our day and age, thereby, writing a new chapter in Jewish History glorifying the Jewish People in an everlasting way.

   The graduates of today must understand that the future is in their hands and we are relying upon them to preserve it well.

   Congratulations to all our graduates.

                                                          שבת שלום ומבורך 

YERUSHALAYIM OUR HOLY CITY

 

 

 

 שאלו שלום ירושלים  ישליו אהביך

“Pray for the peace of Jerusalem, those who love you will be serene” 

 

   And so it was that a number of years ago, Mimi and I had the opportunity to celebrate יום ירושלים in ירשלים. At that time the Synagogue where I was the Mora D’asra was privileged to donate an ambulance to Magen David Adom in Yerushalayim.  It is a day etched in my mind and heart forever.  There were no words to describe the gratitude expressed to us for this gesture. 

  We had the opportunity to walk the streets of Jerusalem and visit places we did not know existed.  We spoke with people who lived in this ancient holy city for decades. Many fought in wars to protect our Jewish State. We heard the anticipation in their voices awaiting the glorious celebrations for Yom Yerushalayim.  “You will have an experience you will always remember,” they told us.  They were right.  The word to describe it is Awesome. The singing and dancing in the streets and the dancing down to the Kotel was a sight to behold.  We ate at a celebratory dinner on Mt Scopus facing הר הבית. We all said in unison 

הר הבית בידינו. We Have Come Home!

   We waited a long time to hear those words and nobody is going to take it away.

   We give הודאה to הקב״ה for giving our soldiers the strength and the knowledge and the בטחון and the אמונה to destroy the enemy and recapture what Hashem gave to us. We Have Come Home!

   This year we celebrate the 50th Anniversary of the reunification of Jerusalem as a Golden Anniversary and we must hold dear to our sacred city and the history it brings to our glorious Jewish State.  

   Let us raise our voices in song  ירושלים של זהב. אם אשכחך ירושלים תשכח ימיני.

   With these thoughts in mind, as we celebrate this most magnificent holiday, I recall the many Blessings that are recorded in this weeks’ Sedrah B'chukosai, specifically,  “והולך אתכם קוממיות לארצנו, I will lead you erect." Rashi comments that the Jew will walk and proceed in life with erect stature. In fact, the opening sentence reads, "אם בחוקותי תלכו, if you walk in my statues.״ It continues, אם מצוותי תשמרו, and keep my commandment, ועשיתם אותםand fulfill them.
Herein, we have three different expressions: תלכו, תשמרו,ועשיתם, walk, keep and do. What do these three different expressions imply and mean for our Judaic way of life. 
The Torah wants to show that to be a good observant Jew it takes one to act in a gradual process. 
Judaism encourages us to pursue a life of Torah, and to do so in the optimum way. One needs to start this magnificent journey with תלכו, walking slowly in the statutes of Halacha, Traveling step by step in our observances. Then we are led to the next level תשמרו, as we walk in the steps of Judaism, we need to do so with careful watching and dedication and commitment to the word of G-D. Then we enter the world of ועשיתם, we become scrupulous in the performance of Torah and Halacha. Now Judaism, with this process, becomes second nature. It becomes part of our life - a life that will always be with us and continues to grow stronger and with greater intensity as our performance becomes more internalized and cherished. 
This is our ירושלים. This is the life of a Jew as he becomes more appreciative of having been blessed by Hashem with our return, not only, to our Holy Land but, even more so, to be reunited with our עיר הקודש, our Holy City, the city where the presence of Hashem is felt and experienced. 
To achieve this feeling it takes a process and great patience. We must first walk into this state of קדושה, then we move to תשמרו, observing and imbibing into its Holiness, and finally using this great Bracha, to intensify our ועשיתם, our actions, leading to a dedicated and uplifting way of life.

 In this light we will be zoche to see the, ביאת גואל צדק במהרה בימינו ,  אמן .

                                               שבת שלום ומבורך

Many thanks to Mimi for her wonderful insight to this glorious day. 

SPINNERS OF LIFE

  The new fad these days is the ‘Fidget Spinner.’ It is supposed to reduce ‘stress.’ I was interested in getting one for myself as a tool for relaxation purposes. I did some research and found out how this fad got started.

   The inventor of this ubiquitous stress-reducing toy says she came up with the idea during a trip to Israel in the 1980s, during the First Intifada, as a way to distract the “young boys throwing rocks at police officers.” 
   Catherine Hettinger told CNN last week that she first brainstormed the gadget while visiting her sister in the Jewish State and hearing about the clashes between Palestinian youth and Israeli security.
   She first considered designing a “soft rock that kids could throw,” according to CNN.
“It started as a way of promoting peace,” Hettinger said.  Soon after, upon returning home to Orlando, Florida, Hettinger put together the first fidget spinner — a propeller-like toy that spins around a center bearing.
   Why this topic for my blog? At first I wasn’t quite sure. Then I realized that this ‘Fidget Spinner’ is an excellent tool for everyone, no matter what age. It is a means to calm our nerves and to bring relaxation to our minds during the laborious days activity in a world filled with stress. 
   Sounds like a good idea!  However, the question I pose, “Would there be some spiritual benefit to this spinner in life?” 
   If we are really interested in some reducing factor to lower our stress level, then it is necessary for us to find the means to do so within our religious life. To begin with, we need to identify concrete ways that we can improve our outlook on life in a positive and comforting way with deep introspection, identifying our true potential and the nature of the unique task for which G-D brought us into this world. This is only the beginning, but it’s a start. 
   If we can respond, in a positive way, to the question which Hashem posed to Adam, “Ayecha? Where are you in life?” Then we are on the road to a stress reducing experience in life.  To know ones’ self, is to know where we belong and, more so, to know how we fit into our world, rather than always comparing ourselves to others. 

   How often have we said to our children, “Be yourself, be who you are and do not look to others for comparison.” As adults we need to hear this selfsame message, “You are who you are and make the most and the best of it.” 
   Chazal teaches, “Before we are created, G-D has a clear image of who we can be and what our mission in life is. Our task is to seek out that image by the way we live.  In doing so, in a positive way, we will achieve the Image that Hashem originally had for us and this accomplishment can, successfully, reduce our life’s tension, and thereby become our ‘true spinner’.
   For many years I was a School Psychologist. As time progressed, I began to realize more and more that parents and teachers are Mashpi’im. They are the ones that influence our children. 

   To, truly, be an influential force is to recognize that whatever we do, whatever we say, flows down from us to our children and leaves a great ‘Roshem’, influence, in their lives. Hopefully, with a thought out process, that influence will be a positive one, resulting in a greater sense of self-esteem, removing the many stresses that overpower so many of us.
This weeks’ Sedrah, Emor concludes with an enigmatic narrative. The Torah relates of a young man from a mixed marriage who becomes a blasphemer, cursing the name of G-D in public. Many inquired what caused this young man to act in such an abhorrent fashion. Considering the theme of my blog, may I suggest that he was influenced by his own action described by the words ויצא, “He went out.” 
   Chazal ask, “מהיכן יצא from where did he leave?” One of the answers given, “יצא מעולמו, he left his world.”  He left his environment. He refused to stay or accept the world to which he was born. He left his family circle. Too often we see many of our youth running away from their family environment, in search of their true self image.  Unfortunately, many end up with a distorted self image, in places where they do not belong and suffer alienation from the true image that Hashem proposed for them to follow in life’s destiny.
   The dire crisis that we are experiencing today  is that so many are on the run, looking for fulfillment, looking for recognition, looking for acceptance, but, sorrowfully, looking for it where it really doesn't count and where we are unlikely to be accepted. 
  We think if we break away from our real environment, a world which we think is confining, and a world away from our family, we will finally find our true selves. How quickly we realize how wrong we are. Those greener pastures that we thought we see, are really weeds that are strangling our very essence and our true self image and causing even more stress in our lives. 
   Too often we are running helter skelter, to and fro, with no direction.  As a result, many find life is not the primrose path and not the road to fulfillment and not one that is less stressful. 
Spinners are a quick fix. Family and Judaism are more of a permanent solution to achieve a true non stressful life. 
   The Rav, in an overview of life said, “Our Torah is a Derech Hashem, a Derech Hachayim, and a majestic style of living. The Torah way of life is a wide and well paved road lined with signs, arrows, and other symbols, pointing out each turn, curve and twist. Whoever wants to pay attention and travel straight to his destination will find a way. If one is capable of watching those signs and symbols, he will not get lost.” 
   A Torah oriented journey can lead to a stress and liberating way of life. 

These are times that we are to infuse our lives with the Spinners of Spirituality, elevating our souls to new heights, owning our own destiny.
שבת שלום ומבורך

POWER OF LOVE

The power of love and human interaction is overwhelmingly inspirational in our worldly existence. It takes warm hearts to move us to greater heights of humanity. 
I recall the story of the day a locomotive first came to a small Jewish town in Europe, and the Hasidim decided to show their Rebbe this miracle of modern civilization. As the Rebbe neared the station, he saw a long line of black cold, motionless cars, attached to each other. The engine in front was belching fire, sending smoke into the clouds. Suddenly, with an ear shattering roar, the engine started moving and the long line of cars moved with it. 
"Rebbe,Rebbe, what do you say to this remarkable sight?" The Rebbe pondered the phenomenon and then remarked in Yiddish "Zeht vie ein haysa ken mit shleypen azoy fil kalteh", look how one hot, fiery object can pull along so many cold ones. 
This is the fact of life when it comes to Yahadut. We have the power, when we unite as one people to accomplish much, especially with our love for each other, and in doing so, to encourage and to embrace others as we travel the road of Yiddishkeit and Torah together. 
This I sense is the main theme of this week's second Parsha, Kedoshim. 
To get the true message of achieving the ultimate Kedusha we need to hear well the opening words of the Sedrah. וידבר הי אל משה לאמר דבר אל כל עדת בני ישראל. Hashem spoke to Moshe saying, "Speak to the entire assembly of the Children of Israel."
The crucial words in this dialogue is עדת בני ישראל, the entire assembly. Herein we see that the true principle of Kedusha concerns all parts of the community and each person is called upon to work towards this ideal to the best of his means and abilities. As a Jewish People we must always act as one, כאיש אחד בלב אחד.Remember the words קול הי בכח, as Chazal explain, בכוחו של כל אחד ואחד, our future depends upon the Jewish People with one unifying voice. 
The presence of the entire assembly signifies that the ultimate goal of Kedusha, can only be achieved through the collective efforts of the whole nation. Understandably each individual can reach a wonderful degree of Holiness,but our Torah and all of the Mitzvot depends on the participation of the community. This is very evident as we realize the importance of the Kehillah, of the Tzibur,especially when we congregate together for Tefilah. Only as a Tzibur, a congregation, can we intone together all the דבר שבקדושה, for only when we are united as one can we truly reach the ultimate heights of Holines, for only then are we referred to as, עדת בני ישראל. 
However, let us always remember we cannot achieve the true אהבת הי, unless we first fulfill the dictum of ואהבת לרעך כמוך. That is why Rabbi Akiva said that this directive is, זה כלל גדול בתורה, this is the great rule in the Torah. 
This must be our guiding principle. Love of G-D, is very important, but without love of mankind we would truly be a miss as an עם קדוש. 
As we experience the counting of the days of Sefira, let us consider to count every Jew in a loving manner, embrace each other with open hands and open hearts and show the world what the true meaning of , קדושים תהיו, really signifies.  
שבת שלום ומבורך